Thursday, May 20, 2010
"Juno" (2007)
"You love him!"
"It's not, it... it's.. really complicated, OK?"
I like it a lot. JUNO. It makes me smile when watching it.
You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on you're back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
I will find my nitch in your car
With my mp3 DVD rumple-packed guitar
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du
Up up down down left right left right B A start
Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
You are always trying to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
We both have shiny happy fits of rage
You want more fans, I want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
Don Quixote was a steel driving man
My name is Adam I'm your biggest fan
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
Squinched up your face and did a dance
You shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du
But you
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
An E-mail to the groom to be.
My Dear dear friend,
Did you remember the day we met?
In that tiny room for club members in college. You walked in to me and we chatted.
Did you remember our old days, that one of my girl friend had crush on you but you're tangled by another triangle relationship?
Did you still held it valuable that we promise to look after each other forever, and I've got your back?
There has been way too much between us, our memories, old days, you're part of my family and... me, I am your family. Now that I can understand, it's your decision to marry this lucky woman. She's .. you know, a control freak and less pleasant when she's so mad and jealous about me being in your life way longer (correctly, it's triple times longer than her) then she is. I respect you. After all, you've walked through all these tough times all by yourself for over 30 years, and I am drifting all the time, can't be your full time sister to support you; not even when the time you were so sick. For that I am going to kick your ass if you don't fix your sick pure meat diet. Thought out these tough times she last longer then others, I don't find her your best choice, but ... hey! You've got yourself locked up!
I know your history, and for this I respect her to stick around no matter how ugly the situation goes. She's a fighter... you whatch out and don't pull your old habit again, or I am sure that you will end up in hospital...
Now my dear, I am sorry that I have to pull a drama here. It's not an good idea I know... it's 2 days before your wedding...
Honestly, I understand. Totally if you can't reply to this...
You might not forgive me forever, I know....
But can you text me the "when" and "where" of your wedding?
Because I lost my invitation.
PS.I tried to pull our conversation record from MSN, nothing's saved. And I try my blackberry however I forgot to save your new mobile number. I don't know what's the reason but I don't have your new mobile phone number, the old one is no good now... you probably told me before... surprised~~
Looking forward to hearing from you ASAP, I mean, ASAP!!
Love,
your best friend . (I hope I can still be.)
Did you remember the day we met?
In that tiny room for club members in college. You walked in to me and we chatted.
Did you remember our old days, that one of my girl friend had crush on you but you're tangled by another triangle relationship?
Did you still held it valuable that we promise to look after each other forever, and I've got your back?
There has been way too much between us, our memories, old days, you're part of my family and... me, I am your family. Now that I can understand, it's your decision to marry this lucky woman. She's .. you know, a control freak and less pleasant when she's so mad and jealous about me being in your life way longer (correctly, it's triple times longer than her) then she is. I respect you. After all, you've walked through all these tough times all by yourself for over 30 years, and I am drifting all the time, can't be your full time sister to support you; not even when the time you were so sick. For that I am going to kick your ass if you don't fix your sick pure meat diet. Thought out these tough times she last longer then others, I don't find her your best choice, but ... hey! You've got yourself locked up!
I know your history, and for this I respect her to stick around no matter how ugly the situation goes. She's a fighter... you whatch out and don't pull your old habit again, or I am sure that you will end up in hospital...
Now my dear, I am sorry that I have to pull a drama here. It's not an good idea I know... it's 2 days before your wedding...
Honestly, I understand. Totally if you can't reply to this...
You might not forgive me forever, I know....
But can you text me the "when" and "where" of your wedding?
Because I lost my invitation.
PS.I tried to pull our conversation record from MSN, nothing's saved. And I try my blackberry however I forgot to save your new mobile number. I don't know what's the reason but I don't have your new mobile phone number, the old one is no good now... you probably told me before... surprised~~
Looking forward to hearing from you ASAP, I mean, ASAP!!
Love,
your best friend . (I hope I can still be.)
Monday, May 17, 2010
A conversation.
“Hey, got a minute?”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“Uh… I’m trapped, in this relationship with Jewel, I don’t know… “
“Jewel? I thought you broke up with her already.”
“No.. well, I did, but things got a little bit complicated, we talked… one thing led to another…”
“Oh, so you two are back together again?”
“You can put it that way.”
“Wow, you sure have some guts.”
“I know… I really shouldn’t. There were problems… “
“Tell me about it… so what about now? Any ‘NEW’ problem pops up?”
“yah, I know … it sounds very stupid, but can you be a doll? Time out for sarcasm and I really need your opinion.”
“I will bite my tongue. Shoot.”
“last weekend, I went to her parents’. Her old man’s birthday.”
“how’s it?”
“Old birthday thing, cake, music, conversations, awkward conversations, very embarrassing conversations…”
“WOW. Sounds very exciting. HAHAHA!”
“Her mom cornered me with her questions: SO, Donald, what’s your plan with Jewel?”
“That’s direct.”
“Then Jewel’s annoying sister Pam said: Well, this drama has tagged too long between you two kids, move on!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“I think they kind of hope that I can wrap everything up with Jewel, instead of ‘taking time’…”
“wrap up as a marriage or a garbage?! Hey perfect rhyme!”
“I believe it’s more for “M” word otherwise her old man should have killed me long ago.”
“Well she’s right, what’s your plan with her? First you two pick up fights way too frequently, then you broke up with her, boom! Back together! You’re a mysterious guy dude.”
“Fuck, why I end up with this shit. I don’t want to rush myself into this marriage crap.”
“maybe you shouldn’t get back with Jewel from the beginning. Oh maybe! Maybe.. you shouldn’t even date her from the VERY beginning. I told you she’s with some problem. She’s got crazy eyes.”
“Man, stop saying that she’s got crazy eyes.”
“She has! And she’s a control freak. Quote to you ‘self-centered buzzle’ You must be losing your mind to commit to that.”
“Well we have problems, part of them are my fault.. “
“Are you ready to fix those mistakes?”
“Not really… we are just trying out. Even I can feel that she’s been taking it seriously again, even more serious than before.”
“I think it’s never being a good idea.”
“You think so? But Jewel is still sweet, in a way… “
“If it didn’t work out for the first time, why do you think you guys can fix those problems now?”
“I don’t know, I thought we could.”
“Could you?”
“Can’t tell now, we just got back together for not more then 2 moths.”
“Did you pick up any fights?”
“Couple of times… not too serious.”
“What about the rest? Does it make you feel OK? Or by any chances AWSOME?”
“Like the old day.”
“Dude, don’t fall for the old day, if it’s so good, you wouldn’t wind up with that ugly break up.”
“Sometimes I did miss her. Yes she tends to control detail but she put my life in order.”
“Isn’t it the very reason drives you crazy?”
“Maybe I’m used to it.”
“No you’re not. Cut the crap. Are you going to pop the question to her? Really?!”
“Not now… I am not so sure.”
“Of course not! You weren’t sure the first time, right?”
“Then what should I do? Jewel won’t even say a word; she let her family do the talk.”
“Man, you’re literally trapped!”
“And her father wasn’t so happy that I didn’t give any positive response.”
“He will kill you for sure.”
“Is it really a bad idea to get back with her?”
“Well, from my point of view… it’s an idiotic decision which can only made by a moron.”
“What should I do!”
“Move on dude, told her to get the frigging out of your life…. Again.”
“It’s easy to say… “
“If you don’t move on, you will feel sorry for yourself making the same mistake again and again.”
“She’s not all that bad.”
“Believe me, if it would work, you two are married for years already. If it’s not working, then nothing can change the fact, even time.”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“Uh… I’m trapped, in this relationship with Jewel, I don’t know… “
“Jewel? I thought you broke up with her already.”
“No.. well, I did, but things got a little bit complicated, we talked… one thing led to another…”
“Oh, so you two are back together again?”
“You can put it that way.”
“Wow, you sure have some guts.”
“I know… I really shouldn’t. There were problems… “
“Tell me about it… so what about now? Any ‘NEW’ problem pops up?”
“yah, I know … it sounds very stupid, but can you be a doll? Time out for sarcasm and I really need your opinion.”
“I will bite my tongue. Shoot.”
“last weekend, I went to her parents’. Her old man’s birthday.”
“how’s it?”
“Old birthday thing, cake, music, conversations, awkward conversations, very embarrassing conversations…”
“WOW. Sounds very exciting. HAHAHA!”
“Her mom cornered me with her questions: SO, Donald, what’s your plan with Jewel?”
“That’s direct.”
“Then Jewel’s annoying sister Pam said: Well, this drama has tagged too long between you two kids, move on!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“I think they kind of hope that I can wrap everything up with Jewel, instead of ‘taking time’…”
“wrap up as a marriage or a garbage?! Hey perfect rhyme!”
“I believe it’s more for “M” word otherwise her old man should have killed me long ago.”
“Well she’s right, what’s your plan with her? First you two pick up fights way too frequently, then you broke up with her, boom! Back together! You’re a mysterious guy dude.”
“Fuck, why I end up with this shit. I don’t want to rush myself into this marriage crap.”
“maybe you shouldn’t get back with Jewel from the beginning. Oh maybe! Maybe.. you shouldn’t even date her from the VERY beginning. I told you she’s with some problem. She’s got crazy eyes.”
“Man, stop saying that she’s got crazy eyes.”
“She has! And she’s a control freak. Quote to you ‘self-centered buzzle’ You must be losing your mind to commit to that.”
“Well we have problems, part of them are my fault.. “
“Are you ready to fix those mistakes?”
“Not really… we are just trying out. Even I can feel that she’s been taking it seriously again, even more serious than before.”
“I think it’s never being a good idea.”
“You think so? But Jewel is still sweet, in a way… “
“If it didn’t work out for the first time, why do you think you guys can fix those problems now?”
“I don’t know, I thought we could.”
“Could you?”
“Can’t tell now, we just got back together for not more then 2 moths.”
“Did you pick up any fights?”
“Couple of times… not too serious.”
“What about the rest? Does it make you feel OK? Or by any chances AWSOME?”
“Like the old day.”
“Dude, don’t fall for the old day, if it’s so good, you wouldn’t wind up with that ugly break up.”
“Sometimes I did miss her. Yes she tends to control detail but she put my life in order.”
“Isn’t it the very reason drives you crazy?”
“Maybe I’m used to it.”
“No you’re not. Cut the crap. Are you going to pop the question to her? Really?!”
“Not now… I am not so sure.”
“Of course not! You weren’t sure the first time, right?”
“Then what should I do? Jewel won’t even say a word; she let her family do the talk.”
“Man, you’re literally trapped!”
“And her father wasn’t so happy that I didn’t give any positive response.”
“He will kill you for sure.”
“Is it really a bad idea to get back with her?”
“Well, from my point of view… it’s an idiotic decision which can only made by a moron.”
“What should I do!”
“Move on dude, told her to get the frigging out of your life…. Again.”
“It’s easy to say… “
“If you don’t move on, you will feel sorry for yourself making the same mistake again and again.”
“She’s not all that bad.”
“Believe me, if it would work, you two are married for years already. If it’s not working, then nothing can change the fact, even time.”
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
紅塵
這幾年看著這世界的變化
旅行也好
定住不動的焦慮也好
為求好也成
求一個保全大局也罷
這麼樣做的理由又是什麼
不過是孑然的來
必然也是孑然地走
你的喜怒哀樂
你的愛恨癡嗔
說穿了又與我何干
人和人之間的聯繫這麼簡單乾脆
說斷
說散
轉瞬而已
在這些情節裡我又何來權利扮演一個角色
那是你精彩的故事
你的紅塵
早該包裹太過充足的心思
了悟在這世上我尋得的真愛不過就那好友二三
因之富足了心靈後
又何必為了那些早就擦身而過的靈魂而挫折而糾結著眉心思量
旅行也好
定住不動的焦慮也好
為求好也成
求一個保全大局也罷
這麼樣做的理由又是什麼
不過是孑然的來
必然也是孑然地走
你的喜怒哀樂
你的愛恨癡嗔
說穿了又與我何干
人和人之間的聯繫這麼簡單乾脆
說斷
說散
轉瞬而已
在這些情節裡我又何來權利扮演一個角色
那是你精彩的故事
你的紅塵
早該包裹太過充足的心思
了悟在這世上我尋得的真愛不過就那好友二三
因之富足了心靈後
又何必為了那些早就擦身而過的靈魂而挫折而糾結著眉心思量
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
This is how they pay the bill
Not particularly a big fan of Subway. My memory of subway starts from my first stay in LA, we went there when we couldn't come up with any interesting options for lunch.
JJ and I would take a walk, gossip a little bit about our Jennifer, and purchased a vegan sandwich for me, one meat monster for JJ himself, some chicken for Rick. As for Chris, he probably would take anything JJ has.
Back to the time in Subway, the price is similar to what we've got in Taiwan. However, it's one thing very different in Taiwan.
--
The other day I had to drive a long way down to center Taiwan to kick some sorry asses in factory. I had to rush into subway to grab a sandwich, which I don't do usually, since there are always better choices, subway is nothing I accept as daily meal.
I went in, check the menu, back to the time in La we always try to be creative, however I made up my mind just took one of their standard sandwich with cheese and bacon. (of course lots of vegi)
During the waiting time, I saw a 40 something women are stuffing all kinds of ingredient into my 6" wheat bread sandwich, then I want to add more cheese, ask her if she can add up some. She said: 10NTD per piece.
As we all know, in the concept of "one piece of cheese" is supposed to be a square cheese slice. In stead of that, in Subway (TW), they cut it into 2 triangles, make double profit out of it.
OK FINE, make it 2 pieces of cheese.
After meat/ cheese station, I saw another lady started stuffing vegi. After she finished pickles, I ask: Can I have more paprika?
She smiled and replied: SURE!
Then she "pick up" those pickles on my sandwich, 4 or 5 pieces and put them back to the vegi tray, reached into green paprika try pick up like 3 pieces of spicy slice put into my sandwich.
--
THAT, is something I never expected seeing from subway. With a feeling of surprising, I walk out with a sandwich with "less pickles and more paprika instead of a sandwich with extra paprika, one idea flashed in my head:
"This is how moms pay their bill and raise family."
How insightful.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
賽浦路斯(N) - More Photos
我一直在思考這一篇遊記要用什麼角度去寫，以理性面來講，它是一個很放鬆沒有目的性的休假，實際上它也是有很瞎的地方，以感性面來講，其實這是一個饒富意義的一次造訪，因為見到多年沒見的老友。
著手準備手提行李要到賽浦路斯，想著陽光沙灘，比基尼正妹，海邊小PUB喝啤酒，每天放自己在海邊曬到焦掉再翻面... 這些一樣都沒出現。你想到可能會有的小島風情，晚風，吉他、音樂，旅人吟唱都只存在想像之中，真的到了那邊，竟然是下雨加上寒風。
出了機場看到這麼久沒見的朋友，竟然有一點容光煥發的感覺，果然小島風情讓他整個人脫離了蒼白和病痛。記憶中有很長一段時間我們不停地和對方抱怨現在的不如意，不開心。但是終於，有一個人遠離了這一切變成一個非常開心的胖子。
（另一個胖子則還在賣電子產品）
我也忘了哪一年開始，我越往電子業的上游發展，產品的利潤越薄。一開始我可以抓2成。後來我們想，15趴也可以接受。到我某年任職於某家股票上市公司，他們說：不要賠錢就好！
就是這樣開始把人逼瘋的吧。
手上拿著一本很難用的小綠書拎著一個小包包裝了一條牛仔褲，一條工作褲，四件TSHIRT，一件V領毛衣，夾腳拖鞋，我搭Atalas進到賽浦路斯，一路上我靠著多年甩不掉的脂肪抵禦著寒風，小飛機你也別指望它有毯子，所以我抖著抱著我的行李，一邊覺得自己搭太多飛機，再不降落我馬上就要得幽閉恐懼症了！
從伊斯坦堡飛進塞浦路斯也沒有太久，約莫一個小時的時間。
只是從進伊斯坦堡搭的土耳其航空，就感覺到土耳其人的動作慢，進空橋前面有二對土耳其情侶，光站在小報攤前面挑報紙就挑了快十分鐘。我的老天，我穿著一件短袖，牛仔褲，外頭12度。感覺自己不只很冷，還很想揍人。本想要超車， "excuse me" ，其中一名老婆看到就說，別急嘛！（她穿著毛呢外套... 如果我也穿那麼多，你要耗半小時我也陪你！）進到座艙，每一個人都慢條斯理的放好行李，拿毛毯，舖枕頭。要等前面的人都坐著準備聽搖籃曲睡覺時你才有可能往前移動，你說崩不崩潰！
坐上飛機，除了越南那一班，這大概是我這輩子坐過最吵的一班了，土耳其話，夾雜著一個馬來西亞旅行團很嗨的聊天聲音，我很累，但卻不時被隔壁的小姐肘擊。令我覺得光火之外，我也很想狠狠的拿餐盤重擊她那張沒停過的嘴巴。整條路上在談馬來西亞的政治問題，教會應該怎麼站出來等等的高談闊論...
到伊斯坦堡，想當然我們用那種速度登機，降落時整整晚了一個半小時。
幸好我有四個小時半的轉機時間，如果卡很死的話，我鐵定得用衝的了。
在Green Point咖啡廳（非常棒的地方，有WIFI，插座，轉機良伴）坐了三個小時完成了我很靠悲的香港遊記，我想提早到登記口，小飛機應該很快速的就可以登機完成...........你想得美。
土耳其人天生動作慢到你真的很想發脾氣，但看其他的人都好整以暇的站二個小時，你也不太好意思抱怨什麼。到了第二百多號（對，阿塔圖克有好幾百個登機口）匣口，沒什麼人在等，但卻已經是起飛前半小時了。登機口前有一台X光機查驗行李，慢慢的有人去排隊，慢慢的拿行李放在盆子裡，慢慢的脫外套，慢慢的走到金屬探測門，慢慢的過去，如果有嗶嗶叫又慢慢的退回來，慢慢的檢查口袋，慢慢的..
如果我正在打真．三國無雙，那我的無雙值應該破錶了吧！
我就是在這種無雙全滿的狀態底下，坐上了滿班的飛機，我承認再快降落之前我有一股衝動想去把機艙門打開自己降落...。
下了飛機看到滿坑滿谷的人，外頭的每一個人都穿著舖棉外套或者大衣，我看著我的夏天服裝，心裡有一種「噢噢！」的感覺。當然氣溫毫不客氣的下探16度！
看到友人在機場外面等，大大的給對方一個久違的擁抱，他問：Caroline, don't you feel cold? Why are you only wearing tshirt and jeans?
我當然是灰常的冷。這就是為啥我在旅遊指南裡說的，查明天氣，準備好再出門！我跟小胖解釋為什麼我只穿了夏天的衣服，只帶了一包隨身行李（非常複雜的故事！），他狂笑了幾分鐘之後，告訴我：Dear, we have a very serious problem. I tried to fix it, but it still doesn't work. We don't have hot water in the house.
OH MY GOD.
OH MY GOD.
OHH MY GODDDD.
試想一位少女，身上雖然裹著厚厚的脂肪，但她只有夏天的衣服。正要入住到石頭做的老房子裡，然後，沒有暖氣和熱水。而且、她很想洗澡。
我故作鎮定地笑著說，沒關係啊，應該會有人來修吧（這是一個完全不瞭解島上生態的人說的話）。
車子開了老遠，發現這個渡假勝地其實還蠻荒涼的，小胖說，我住的地方沒那麼恐怖，放心！越往山上開，他一邊解釋他住的地方是老城，雖然什麼都沒有，但卻很安靜。我看著路邊一間一間的老破屋，想著我大概不是來渡假，可能是恐怖之旅，但為了見老友一面，再恐怖也撐下去吧（而且你也沒機票可以逃走了哈哈哈哈哈）
沒想到爬了一個奇陡無比的坡之後，看到一間非常大的石頭屋，當地有非常多這樣子的屋子供外國旅客租賃渡假。有游泳池，暖氣，電池，廚房用具冰箱咖啡機微波爐等等，總之可以很舒服的來過幾個月離群索取的生活。奧圖式建築，這個房子也幾百年有了。外來的物業公司再翻修成適合出租的villa.總之，雖然在很荒涼的山上，雖然房子的外表看起來很粗曠，裡面卻很豪華。雖然有一個又大又漂亮的游泳池，卻因為氣溫15度無法很豪爽的跳下水去大游特游。雖然住在漂亮又有歷史感的豪宅裡，它卻沒有暖氣跟熱水。
是不是充滿矛盾？
賽浦路斯是至今還在政治衝突的國家，雖然應該是充滿渡假氣氛，但還是可以看到各種軍事的標的和建築。
海邊又原始又美麗，雖然吃個飯要開半小時的車，但因為是渡假，時間的長短也就無所謂了。
飲食方面綜合了南歐和地中海的特色，味道很不錯，但價位很驚人，雖然是一個看起來很荒涼的地方，物價卻相當的可怕（比照歐洲）。
島上只有四家中菜館，只有二家賣PIZZA的地方，我記得有一天我們為了找PIZZA就花了快一個小時（悶）。
來到賽浦路斯，就別當自己是到了觀光旅遊很發達的地方。其實它只是一個得天獨厚，卻有一點窮窮的地方，雖然窮窮的，東西卻貴到爆掉。（又是一個矛盾點）
旅程的最後小胖語重心長地問著：My dear friend, do you think we will see each other again?
我回：I think this is the last time we see each other.
就是因為這個預感，所以我千山萬水的去。
人生的緣份就是如此。我不覺悲傷，反而慶幸。
在這場相遇裡我認識了一個充滿智慧好心腸的友人，
在我們分離的時候彼此是帶著愉快的心情和回憶。
會不會再見、什麼時候再見，卻都沒那麼重要了。
只要我們都好好的、往人生的下一個階段走去，
只要我們知道彼此好好地活著，
已經足夠。
我們微笑著說再見。
補照：（IVAN用他摔得很慘的單眼拍出來的照片）
--
回到台灣第二天，小胖傳簡訊說：My friend, guess what? I have hot water now!
金架氣死人。
--
照例我來告訴大家一些小撇步：如何在十五度的低溫洗冷水澡。
首先，如果你要洗頭（依照我第一天的情況，必須一定要洗頭，不然我頭上鐵定會有蒼蠅），注意不要讓冷水潑到身體，只有頭和手接觸到冷水，如果你洗到一半有眼前一黑的瀕死經驗，注意！不要走到光的那一頭，趕快調頭回來！洗完趕快用浴巾把頭包起來，再進行下一步。
如果你洗完頭，還是覺得應該要洗澡，請先從手臂著手，分別洗完上臂之後再洗腳。一次洗一隻。不要想說用shower的方式，這樣你真的會休克。
從肢體的末稍開始洗，等身體適應寒冷的冰水之後，再一氣呵成把背部和胸口洗完。
重點來了，當你邊抖邊把身體擦乾之後，立即衝到太陽底下讓身體回溫，加上捧著一杯熱茶慢慢讓身體保持溫度，不然可能會得肺炎。（我就是這樣渡過了在賽浦路斯的日子。）
Good Luck with your cold shower in winter!
著手準備手提行李要到賽浦路斯，想著陽光沙灘，比基尼正妹，海邊小PUB喝啤酒，每天放自己在海邊曬到焦掉再翻面... 這些一樣都沒出現。你想到可能會有的小島風情，晚風，吉他、音樂，旅人吟唱都只存在想像之中，真的到了那邊，竟然是下雨加上寒風。
出了機場看到這麼久沒見的朋友，竟然有一點容光煥發的感覺，果然小島風情讓他整個人脫離了蒼白和病痛。記憶中有很長一段時間我們不停地和對方抱怨現在的不如意，不開心。但是終於，有一個人遠離了這一切變成一個非常開心的胖子。
（另一個胖子則還在賣電子產品）
我也忘了哪一年開始，我越往電子業的上游發展，產品的利潤越薄。一開始我可以抓2成。後來我們想，15趴也可以接受。到我某年任職於某家股票上市公司，他們說：不要賠錢就好！
就是這樣開始把人逼瘋的吧。
手上拿著一本很難用的小綠書拎著一個小包包裝了一條牛仔褲，一條工作褲，四件TSHIRT，一件V領毛衣，夾腳拖鞋，我搭Atalas進到賽浦路斯，一路上我靠著多年甩不掉的脂肪抵禦著寒風，小飛機你也別指望它有毯子，所以我抖著抱著我的行李，一邊覺得自己搭太多飛機，再不降落我馬上就要得幽閉恐懼症了！
從伊斯坦堡飛進塞浦路斯也沒有太久，約莫一個小時的時間。
只是從進伊斯坦堡搭的土耳其航空，就感覺到土耳其人的動作慢，進空橋前面有二對土耳其情侶，光站在小報攤前面挑報紙就挑了快十分鐘。我的老天，我穿著一件短袖，牛仔褲，外頭12度。感覺自己不只很冷，還很想揍人。本想要超車， "excuse me" ，其中一名老婆看到就說，別急嘛！（她穿著毛呢外套... 如果我也穿那麼多，你要耗半小時我也陪你！）進到座艙，每一個人都慢條斯理的放好行李，拿毛毯，舖枕頭。要等前面的人都坐著準備聽搖籃曲睡覺時你才有可能往前移動，你說崩不崩潰！
坐上飛機，除了越南那一班，這大概是我這輩子坐過最吵的一班了，土耳其話，夾雜著一個馬來西亞旅行團很嗨的聊天聲音，我很累，但卻不時被隔壁的小姐肘擊。令我覺得光火之外，我也很想狠狠的拿餐盤重擊她那張沒停過的嘴巴。整條路上在談馬來西亞的政治問題，教會應該怎麼站出來等等的高談闊論...
到伊斯坦堡，想當然我們用那種速度登機，降落時整整晚了一個半小時。
幸好我有四個小時半的轉機時間，如果卡很死的話，我鐵定得用衝的了。
在Green Point咖啡廳（非常棒的地方，有WIFI，插座，轉機良伴）坐了三個小時完成了我很靠悲的香港遊記，我想提早到登記口，小飛機應該很快速的就可以登機完成...........你想得美。
土耳其人天生動作慢到你真的很想發脾氣，但看其他的人都好整以暇的站二個小時，你也不太好意思抱怨什麼。到了第二百多號（對，阿塔圖克有好幾百個登機口）匣口，沒什麼人在等，但卻已經是起飛前半小時了。登機口前有一台X光機查驗行李，慢慢的有人去排隊，慢慢的拿行李放在盆子裡，慢慢的脫外套，慢慢的走到金屬探測門，慢慢的過去，如果有嗶嗶叫又慢慢的退回來，慢慢的檢查口袋，慢慢的..
如果我正在打真．三國無雙，那我的無雙值應該破錶了吧！
我就是在這種無雙全滿的狀態底下，坐上了滿班的飛機，我承認再快降落之前我有一股衝動想去把機艙門打開自己降落...。
下了飛機看到滿坑滿谷的人，外頭的每一個人都穿著舖棉外套或者大衣，我看著我的夏天服裝，心裡有一種「噢噢！」的感覺。當然氣溫毫不客氣的下探16度！
看到友人在機場外面等，大大的給對方一個久違的擁抱，他問：Caroline, don't you feel cold? Why are you only wearing tshirt and jeans?
我當然是灰常的冷。這就是為啥我在旅遊指南裡說的，查明天氣，準備好再出門！我跟小胖解釋為什麼我只穿了夏天的衣服，只帶了一包隨身行李（非常複雜的故事！），他狂笑了幾分鐘之後，告訴我：Dear, we have a very serious problem. I tried to fix it, but it still doesn't work. We don't have hot water in the house.
OH MY GOD.
OH MY GOD.
OHH MY GODDDD.
就是這台沒用的熱水器給我壞掉！
還有聲稱會來但都沒來過的水電工...
試想一位少女，身上雖然裹著厚厚的脂肪，但她只有夏天的衣服。正要入住到石頭做的老房子裡，然後，沒有暖氣和熱水。而且、她很想洗澡。
我故作鎮定地笑著說，沒關係啊，應該會有人來修吧（這是一個完全不瞭解島上生態的人說的話）。
車子開了老遠，發現這個渡假勝地其實還蠻荒涼的，小胖說，我住的地方沒那麼恐怖，放心！越往山上開，他一邊解釋他住的地方是老城，雖然什麼都沒有，但卻很安靜。我看著路邊一間一間的老破屋，想著我大概不是來渡假，可能是恐怖之旅，但為了見老友一面，再恐怖也撐下去吧（而且你也沒機票可以逃走了哈哈哈哈哈）
沒想到爬了一個奇陡無比的坡之後，看到一間非常大的石頭屋，當地有非常多這樣子的屋子供外國旅客租賃渡假。有游泳池，暖氣，電池，廚房用具冰箱咖啡機微波爐等等，總之可以很舒服的來過幾個月離群索取的生活。奧圖式建築，這個房子也幾百年有了。外來的物業公司再翻修成適合出租的villa.總之，雖然在很荒涼的山上，雖然房子的外表看起來很粗曠，裡面卻很豪華。雖然有一個又大又漂亮的游泳池，卻因為氣溫15度無法很豪爽的跳下水去大游特游。雖然住在漂亮又有歷史感的豪宅裡，它卻沒有暖氣跟熱水。
沒熱水的廚房
沒熱水的豪宅
超漂亮的...
是不是充滿矛盾？
賽浦路斯是至今還在政治衝突的國家，雖然應該是充滿渡假氣氛，但還是可以看到各種軍事的標的和建築。
海邊又原始又美麗，雖然吃個飯要開半小時的車，但因為是渡假，時間的長短也就無所謂了。
飲食方面綜合了南歐和地中海的特色，味道很不錯，但價位很驚人，雖然是一個看起來很荒涼的地方，物價卻相當的可怕（比照歐洲）。
島上只有四家中菜館，只有二家賣PIZZA的地方，我記得有一天我們為了找PIZZA就花了快一個小時（悶）。
來到賽浦路斯，就別當自己是到了觀光旅遊很發達的地方。其實它只是一個得天獨厚，卻有一點窮窮的地方，雖然窮窮的，東西卻貴到爆掉。（又是一個矛盾點）
從一家海邊的餐廳看出去的風景，這個餐廳真的蓋在海岸邊。東西SOSO但風景太美了!
旅程的最後小胖語重心長地問著：My dear friend, do you think we will see each other again?
我回：I think this is the last time we see each other.
就是因為這個預感，所以我千山萬水的去。
人生的緣份就是如此。我不覺悲傷，反而慶幸。
在這場相遇裡我認識了一個充滿智慧好心腸的友人，
在我們分離的時候彼此是帶著愉快的心情和回憶。
會不會再見、什麼時候再見，卻都沒那麼重要了。
只要我們都好好的、往人生的下一個階段走去，
只要我們知道彼此好好地活著，
已經足夠。
我們微笑著說再見。
補照：（IVAN用他摔得很慘的單眼拍出來的照片）
水超冰的。
照相必備的醜照動作
瞧瞧那海面！
（老卡與海）
--
回到台灣第二天，小胖傳簡訊說：My friend, guess what? I have hot water now!
金架氣死人。
--
照例我來告訴大家一些小撇步：如何在十五度的低溫洗冷水澡。
首先，如果你要洗頭（依照我第一天的情況，必須一定要洗頭，不然我頭上鐵定會有蒼蠅），注意不要讓冷水潑到身體，只有頭和手接觸到冷水，如果你洗到一半有眼前一黑的瀕死經驗，注意！不要走到光的那一頭，趕快調頭回來！洗完趕快用浴巾把頭包起來，再進行下一步。
如果你洗完頭，還是覺得應該要洗澡，請先從手臂著手，分別洗完上臂之後再洗腳。一次洗一隻。不要想說用shower的方式，這樣你真的會休克。
從肢體的末稍開始洗，等身體適應寒冷的冰水之後，再一氣呵成把背部和胸口洗完。
重點來了，當你邊抖邊把身體擦乾之後，立即衝到太陽底下讓身體回溫，加上捧著一杯熱茶慢慢讓身體保持溫度，不然可能會得肺炎。（我就是這樣渡過了在賽浦路斯的日子。）
Good Luck with your cold shower in winter!
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